Dude, what's your New Year revelation?

New Year's was just a week away. Like always, a bunch of guys perched on a wall at the street corner after a volleyball game which ended in a messy fight with the local rivals.

  "Man, look...hot chick!"
  "Yeah buddy, really nice babe... But hey listen, are you making any New Year resolutions?"
  "Not yet. But ya, I made one last year. Not to look at girls."
  "Cool. Kept it?"
  "Umm...tried to. You made any last year?"
  "Yup, not to waste time on goalless pursuits."
  "And kept it?"
The other guy stared at him blankly. Silence ensued.



The things that tag along with a new year are quite fascinating... Parties, greeting cards, gifts, top-ten lists that lifestyle magazines give out, heart-stopping mobile bills and of course, resolutions! Resolutions, in particular, are wonderful to think and talk about.... You ditch old ones, and make many more new ones. You know, like those malls which come up with crazy festive deals... Get your old jeans and take home a brand new pair!! (But duh, pay 1000 bucks extra. Didn't you notice that little asterisk in our ad?).

So that's the thing, resolutions come at a price. We have to lose something else in order to stick to them and generally we are so broke that we can't afford to do the same. Whether you wish to lose weight, hit the gym, shop less, spend less or try meditation (the keyword here is 'try', not 'turn to'), you gotta have a hell lotta conviction and patience. Personally, I don't have such kinda self-control. Calling me a guy with self-control would be like calling Metallica a mushy band...

On a more serious note, why do we make resolutions in the first place? We all want to be better people at the end of the day. We want change in our lives. The coming year should be better than the past one. Same old life sucks...variety maangtha hai yaar! In this search for that elusive 'variety', we keep planning everything in advance...and all those plans go kaput. So instead of planning things, why don't we just be spontaneous in our decisions and actions? That would save so much time!! And considering the fact that we have such a short life...all those moments can be LIVED, rather than being wasted on fruitless life-analysis.

The past, sticky, won't let me go... The future, slippery, won't let me hold... The present...is all that I know.

Yeah, this is my New Year revelation. What's yours?

Starry tantrums and Sanity clutches...

The other day, I was watching a bakwaas show on a stupid channel on the idiot box (Yeah, even then I was watching it. Don't ask why). It was a show on how movie stars party, how they step out in style, blah, blah, blah...

Suddenly, a VJ wearing 4-inch high stilettos popped out of nowhere and was trying very hard to put on a pout like that of Marilyn Monroe. I really appreciate her effort, but it was more like a duck's beak. Anyway, so this female kept blabbering about one particular "celebrity", who freaked out at her assistant for getting her a second-rate party clutch (Oops!!). Bechari celeb, she had to attend a high-profile party the next day clutching the wrong clutch!

Needless to say, the fashion police termed it a serious crime and debated on how people's fashion sense is going down these days. Now that was a major fault on the assistant's part,psst...

And so, the question(s) must be asked. Why is it that these so-called stars find it difficult to cope with the harsh reality (Not Reality TV, mind you) of life? Why can't they just behave the way normal people do?? Why? Why?? OK, too many questions lying unanswered there...

Moreover, our lady takes out time from her impossible schedule and gives an exclusive interview to another news channel who couldn't fill the evening slot with better news. After the obvious "We're just good friends" when asked about the seemingly close relationship with her latest co-star, she goes on to say about the party incident, "Oh goodness gracious!! THAAT was like a freakin' nightmare! You know,like...I am like err...a youth icon in this country and people try to emulate me (Yes, 'emulate' was the most complex word she could manage). So,umm...ya it was kinda embarassing."

I say, absolutely madamji...I envisage a whole nation of young girls carrying mismatching clutches to parties in the near future. Sad. And yes, it IS a mandatory thing for you oh-I'm-so-hot socialites to have designer vanity clutches. Gucci,Chanel,Armani...nothing less would do.
Or wait, should I call them 'sanity' clutches??